4, 8, 15, 16, 23 , 42...

Myrna, the assistant planner in my office, is a fan of the hit ABC TV show Lost. She watches it every week with her husband David. We discuss it every Thursday morning. I asked her if she watched it, she says yes, to which I reply - "I have absolutely no idea what is going on, and I love it."

Today she told me a quick story today about how David plays the lotto every week, and how recently he played very special numbers... The Lost numbers.

Needless to say he did not win, but can you imagine the number of people nowadays that play these numbers in the hopes that they too will be the next Hurley? Well when I googled the numbers today, I learned that David was not the only lotto player to have taken a chance on these cursed digits. According to a Wisconsin lottery official, more than 840 people across 5 states played the Lost numbers in a recent October 19th PowerBall drawing for $340 million. Note that 27 states, including the District of Columbia participate in Powerball. If you prorated the number of players to account for all 27 states, that would have meant that over 4,700 people actually had the gusto to play those numbers. Say that the Lost number had won. The $340 million pot would have equaled about $36,000 in David's eyes once the other 4,500 people got their share, and of course half is taken out for taxes.

This would however make for an amazing PR scandal. Say Powerball and ABC got together and rigged the outcome of its next huge payday. The media would have a literal field day on this!! I can see the headlines now - "Man wins $350 million using ABC's hit show's most cursed figures!" Aside from this being totally illegal, it would from a PR standpoint be very cool.

"Sweet" Sure Ain't What it Used to Be...

Not many people are familiar with the phenomenon that occurs when the song "Pour Some Sugar on Me" comes through the airwaves. But fear not! I am here to shed some light... Believe it or not when this song plays, most women cannot control their urge to dance like a stripper.

Don't believe me? Walk into any bar across America where this song is playing and if the crowd is dancing, take a look at how the female contingency is moving because they will inevitably be moving like the new girl at Stillettos- swaying their hips back and forth and doing that "up, down crouch" move. And the more liquor in their system, the more dirty the dancing!

How do I know? What makes me the expert you ask? Well not only have I been witness to it on many an occasion, I've done it myself! HEY! No judging! You try attending a Big Ten school and not dancing like a slut at least once! It's hard! They practically pull you aside at orientation and give you a pamphlet...

C'mon admit it! If you are of the female sex, every time you've heard this song played - whether it was back in college, in the car, or at some fratty bar on the Upper East Side - you get the undeniable urge to find a pole and start dancing. If you are still shaking your head no, well now you are just lying to yourself.

I don't know what causes this phenomenon, I just know that it exists. Perhaps there are some sort of subliminal messages worked into the song, i.e. "Take your clothes off and dance like a ho"?. Or maybe its just the lead singer's melodic voice singing such eloquent lyrics as "You got the peaches, I got the cream; Sweet to taste, saccharine; 'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet; From my head, my head, to my feet". Yeah that has nothing to do with it...

So the next time you hear this song playing observe the people around you. Be sure not to call attention to the theory because that will undoubtedly curve the results. Just keep a keen eye open and some small bills on hand. ;)

Halloween Rant

What the hell is wrong with people today? The costumes women are wearing on Halloween these days have really gotten out of hand. I was at the West Village Halloween Parade last night, and it was astounding how many girls I saw there parading around in their underwear, butts hanging out... What is this - 19th century Paris? I don't recall buying a ticket to the Moulin Rouge! Put some damn clothes on!

I remember when Halloween was an excuse to don a cute little costume and go get some candy. Maybe even do a little mischief, watch a scary movie - basically have the chance for one day to somebody you are not. Why would anybody want to purposely be slutty? Is that an attribute people seriously consider desirable in a woman? I mean beyond the Frat house? Does anybody ever say - hey I am sure glad my mom is slutty! No, of course not!

I can't even begin to tell you how many Slutty Little Bo Peeps I saw, or Slutty Cops, or (and this really blows my mind) Slutty Rainbow Brites! Rainbow Brite is NOT supposed to be slutty! She is an icon of my youth! She and Starlite used to ride the rainbows of Rainbow Land and end the mischief cause by Murky and Lurky!! .... ... Where was I?

Look, I really have no problem with slutiness on its own. Let it be your way of life if that is what you want! Just don't use an otherwise fun time of year as an excuse to be one. Look at Paris Hilton - she doesn't limit herself to one holiday. Why should the rest of America's female population let it? If you want to be a slut - be a slut! Let your inner whore shine! But if you are just doing it to get attention and otherwise contribute to the degradation of today's woman, try using your imagination instead. You may be surprised what you will think of...