"Sweet" Sure Ain't What it Used to Be...

Not many people are familiar with the phenomenon that occurs when the song "Pour Some Sugar on Me" comes through the airwaves. But fear not! I am here to shed some light... Believe it or not when this song plays, most women cannot control their urge to dance like a stripper.

Don't believe me? Walk into any bar across America where this song is playing and if the crowd is dancing, take a look at how the female contingency is moving because they will inevitably be moving like the new girl at Stillettos- swaying their hips back and forth and doing that "up, down crouch" move. And the more liquor in their system, the more dirty the dancing!

How do I know? What makes me the expert you ask? Well not only have I been witness to it on many an occasion, I've done it myself! HEY! No judging! You try attending a Big Ten school and not dancing like a slut at least once! It's hard! They practically pull you aside at orientation and give you a pamphlet...

C'mon admit it! If you are of the female sex, every time you've heard this song played - whether it was back in college, in the car, or at some fratty bar on the Upper East Side - you get the undeniable urge to find a pole and start dancing. If you are still shaking your head no, well now you are just lying to yourself.

I don't know what causes this phenomenon, I just know that it exists. Perhaps there are some sort of subliminal messages worked into the song, i.e. "Take your clothes off and dance like a ho"?. Or maybe its just the lead singer's melodic voice singing such eloquent lyrics as "You got the peaches, I got the cream; Sweet to taste, saccharine; 'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet; From my head, my head, to my feet". Yeah that has nothing to do with it...

So the next time you hear this song playing observe the people around you. Be sure not to call attention to the theory because that will undoubtedly curve the results. Just keep a keen eye open and some small bills on hand. ;)