Don't they have Starbucks in Nebraska?

Yes folks, its Summertime. And with summer comes mosquito's, even smellier subways, and oh yes... Tourists from Sheboygan. Where is Sheboygan you ask? Well apparently somewhere where people don't have the normal routine of breakfast. Confused? Lemme 'splain...

There is but one decent deli and Starbucks in my direct path to the office when I come out of the subway. I typically don't like to veer off a direct path to the office, so if I am stopping for coffee or breakfast, it has to be on the way. Call it OCD, it is what it is. I don't go around the corner for eggs.

Since it has become summer, I have switched to iced coffee, so I have been stopping in the Cafe Metro (yes the same one where I forgot my oatmeal). Everytime I go in there, there is a family of 8 trying to order "breakfast to stay" in line in front of me. As they take an hour to decide if they want their bagel toasted or their eggs scrambled, or if they want turkey or regular bacon with their pancakes, I try to make eye contact with the grill man behind the sneezeguard, secretly pleading for him to take my order first. At least I KNOW what I want. I get the same damned thing everyday. The guy just looks at me as if to say "Stupid Gringa, get here 20 minutes earlier and you wouldn't have this problem. At least you aren't the one taking the order from these pendejos."

And PS - who the hell gets pancakes at cafe metro anyways?? Hit the diner across the street for chrissake of you want a whole spread. This place is for egg sandwiches. MAYBE an omelet. But its seriously as if these people have never ordered in a deli before. Don't they have eggs and toast in Iowa??? I mean really.

Paying is a whole 'nother problem too. Of course there are two of the slowest people behind the registers, and they have to go through the entire order with the people paying to make sure they have everything straight because god forbid you ring up that egg white omelet WITHOUT the cheese! Just give my me ice coffee with skim please!!! No - I said SKIM!!! This is made with 2%. No seriously I can tell... skim is not creamy. Ugh.